I lacked this facility with my own mother: not only could I not truly see her, or see her whole, but she seemed to know things about me that I was not aware of having made public. She expressed herself in everything, from the food on the table to the washing on the line, was intimately revealed in every room of the house, a creature entirely given over to outward impressions both sensory and actual — a person, in fact, with no privacy. She wore it, it was explained to me, around her neck at night, in order to prevent her from disturbing her husband by lying on her back and snoring. Objectivity is the goal of civilisation, an aspiration rooted in the struggle to be objective about oneself. Psychoanalysis might be seen as the attempt to abridge this process, but for most people it is by the slow and iterative business of living that they approach a more dispassionate standpoint. Retrospect is no guide, despite the soft-psychoanalytic suggestion that one can become a better person by understanding the ways in which one was wronged.
|Published (Last):||3 July 2011|
|PDF File Size:||7.83 Mb|
|ePub File Size:||20.95 Mb|
|Price:||Free* [*Free Regsitration Required]|
Shelves: self-help-advice , nonfiction , This was a well-written book with a great deal of good information about difficult mothers. However, the subtitle is somewhat misleading. She then notes that everyone has their own situations and responses therefore must come up with their own ways of learning how to get from understanding to healing - tada!
Now you know how to overcome the power your difficult mother has over you. Apter takes a different approach. Imagine that you are trying to improve your core strength. I do not know which exercises you enjoy or do not enjoy, but you will figure it out. I gave the book three stars because I was looking for understanding more about difficult mothers.
Oct 26, Travel Writing rated it really liked it Recommends it for: Anyone struggling with a mom-relationship Shelves: non-fiction , right-in-the-feeeeels , self-help Insightful and encouraging book.
I understand that the author was laying out that if you have the knowledge to understand a difficult mother, then you basically can overcome the difficult mother. Some quotes I liked.
They came at the very end of the book. Release comes from relinquishing the urge to fight one more battle with hereto gain recognition or acceptance or admiration. It is the enlightenment that our battles no longer between ourselves and a mother but between the history that formed us and our better possible selves.
Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power